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This not strictly a poem but it may
help to raise a smile! Sent in by Margie Arts
Hope this
makes you smile......
EVER WONDER...
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women
can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why
"abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors
call what they do "practice"?
...why you have
to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon
juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is! made
with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there
isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?
...who tastes
dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
...why Noah
didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they
sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they
don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible
black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called
apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is
the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you
need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work
o! n my hair).
On a bag of
Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the
shoplifter special?)
On a bar of
Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be
how???....)
On some Swanson
frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a
suggestion).
On Tesco's
Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &
Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you
thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron! clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's
Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep
Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this
because???....)
On most brands
of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed
to...what?)
On a Japanese
food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out
there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's
peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts.! " (talk about a news flash!)
On an American
Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3:
maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame
the company. I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's
superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
_____
Now that you've
smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this
to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other
words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
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Poetry Corner
