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see ancient Scots below!!
This is a polite way of calling
someone a Bas***d
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second
golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said
that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said,
"We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five pounds a
hole?"
The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to
the terms. The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy
counting his £80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a
neighbouring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet
with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a
donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along,
I'll marry them."
Ancient Scots
Angus was 90 yrs.old and his cronies at the Club decided to play
a joke on him for his Birthday. They contacted an "Agency" and
asked them to send one of their Hostess' to Angus on the day.
Angus was seated by the fire in his rocking chair musing on the
past 90 years when there was a knock on the door.
After due deliberation about whether there really was someone
there, he decided to make the effort to reach the door.
When he opened it, there was a statuesque looking blond model in
a mini skirt, she says "I've come to give you SUPER SEX !"
Angus looked at her for a moment and replied " Well if its all
the same to you lass, I'll just take the SOUP !"
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Humour
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