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  Features - Humour
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WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)


from Grandparents Apart

  • Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people's.

  • A grandfather is a man & a grandmother is a lady!

  • Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

  • When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

  • They show us and talk to us about the colour of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'

  • They don't say, 'Hurry up.'

  • Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

  • A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.

  • They wear glasses and funny underwear.

  • They can take their teeth and gums out.

  • Grandmothers are just antique little girls.

  • Grandfathers are just antique little boys

  • Grandparents don't have to be smart. But they are, they know a lot what our parents even don't know

  • They have to answer questions like 'why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'.

  • When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

  • Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

  • They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

  • It's funny when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.'   But dad does the same, when he thinks he is alone

 

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